The last few weeks, I have sat for hours at night, creating content, focusing on clients "creative" designs and feeling that this is not really work. It keeps my mind occupied and I still get time with the family, whilst doing what I love. There is danger in this. I am finding it difficult to shut down and just relax. My boundaries have shifted under the false pretense that I am doing creative work, and that it is not really taxing. It is! There are 7 types of rest we know of and need. Physical, mental, emotional, social, creative, sensory and spiritual.
My thoughts: I am engaging with the family, all watching a little telly, I can still "potter" on my laptop, design content for the week, play with images and enjoy the creative flow and save time doing it during working hours.
Take a look at how this thought pattern is robbing me of rest.
Physically: I am straining my eyes on a pc screen, shoulders hunched over.
Mentally & emotionally: I am thinking of common thread questions that I received in the week and where clients are needing value adding information, creating content that aligns. Many are hurting and clients are struggling, how do I keep content sensitive and still practical?
Creative & sensory: so caught up in the creation process of appropriate images, fonts and easy to interpret content, I have not sat and read a book in ages! When I read, it's educational blogs or published articles. When last did I read an easy book, those that you know how it will end after the first chapter? A good easy read. Sensory overload in gadgets, virtual calls and then design at night. A good old fashion paper book is needed. To smell the pages when you turn, and yes, when you do perhaps fall asleep and snooze, it's quite ok to fall out of your hand.
My boundaries shifted because I needed to numb my thoughts. My clients are hurting. Businesses are buckling. Acquaintances are being hospitalised and fighting for breath. The concern over my own family, are our policies in order? Is there small print I need to know of? The guilt of feeling joy when experiencing a kick-but brilliant day. The complexity is at times simply overwhelming, and I thought I was quite the master of my mindset and perspective. Not in this season!
So what comes next? I have turned to my journal, a practical way of reminding me what I do have control over in the natural. Small baby steps, my backslide has been substantial, so meditating and complete body relaxation this week has been an epic failure. I will get there, and so will you!
May you find moments to rest and relax during the times you least have the time to.